help for domestic violence perpetrators
Help for domestic violence perpetrators

Respect Phoneline – help for domestic violence perpetrators

The Respect Phoneline is a confidential and anonymous helpline for domestic violence perpetrators looking for help to address their behaviour.

The main focus of the Respect Phoneline is to increase the safety of those experiencing domestic violence by engaging with the abusers to reduce the risk.

Who is it for?

The Respect Phoneline helps men and women in heterosexual or same-sex relationships who want to stop being violent and/or abusive towards a partner or ex-partner. It’s also available for frontline worker who engage with domestic violence perpetrators in their work.

How do you help?

We have a team of skilled professionals who:

  • can help you understand your patterns of violence and abuse towards your partner or ex-partner;
  • will explore with you how your violence and abuse is about you trying to be in control;
  • can help you understand the effects of your violence and abuse towards your partner and your children;
  • will give you information about specialist domestic violence prevention programmes, if they are available where you live.

Getting in touch 

Opening hours:  the Respect Phoneline is open Monday-Friday 9am-5pm.

Call: freephone 0808 802 4040

(free from landlines and from mobiles using the O2, Orange, T Mobile, Three (3), Virgin, and Vodafone networks). Calls will not appear on BT landline phone bills. We offer a voicemail service when the lines are busy or closed and we aim to return calls within two working days.

Email: [email protected] (we aim to reply within two working days).


We aim to speak to at least 50% of all callers aiming to access the Respect Phoneline every month.


For domestic violence perpetrators

  • Spot the warning signs, take a Time-Out!
  • Managing Jealousy
  • Choose to stop-for men (32-page booklet)
  • Choose to stop-for gay and bi men (32-page booklet)
  • Booklet for women in heterosexual relationships  
  • Books:
    • ‘From Fear to Freedom: Masculinity, Control and Change: A Workbook for Men’ by Dave Morran (Editor), Venture Press, 2009, ISBN 1861780826.
    • ‘Violent No More by Michael Paymar, Hunter House Publishers, 2000, ISBN 0897932684.
    • ‘Man to Man: A Guide for Men in Abusive Relationships’ by Edward W. Gondolf and David M. Russell, Sulzburger & Graham Pub Co, ISBN 0945819617 or you can download it free of charge here.

For frontline workers and for display

We can send a sample of publicity materials for free; for larger orders please download and complete the order form below: Respect Phoneline publicity material order form

Accessibility – Equality of Access

We aim to make our service accessible to everyone:

  • We have access to telephone interpreters for those whose first language isn’t English.
  • All our Helpline Advisors have been trained to use Text Relay. Text Relay connects people using a textphone with people using a telephone or another textphone. It lets deaf, hard of hearing and speech impaired people stay in touch with friends and family, and call businesses over the telephone.
  • We offer calls for up to 30 minutes. The Respect Phoneline is a very busy helpline and we want to give everyone the opportunity to get through to us to access help and support. We find that the vast majority of our calls last under 30 minutes but we recognise that in some cases (including calls with the assistance of a telephone interpreter) may take longer.

Commitment to quality

Helpline workers will treat all callers with courtesy and respect and they will use their skills to offer the most appropriate information and advice, as needed.

Investing in our staff

We aim to offer a helpline service of high quality and for that purpose we invest in the training and development of our staff. Helpline workers are offered monthly line management, clinical supervision, and regular helpline team meetings. They also have the opportunity to debrief after difficult or unusual calls and their views are taken into consideration in shaping policies and procedures.


The Respect Phoneline is a full member of the Helplines Partnership. In March 2011 the Respect Phoneline was accredited by the Helplines Association (as it was known then) with the Quality Standard.